Hello, New Year's Eve.

Up after a relaxing nap at the Chablis Inn. A gloriously sunny day today after such a glum one yesterday - life is so miserable when you're sick. In my downtime, checked some emails, a few job postings.

Woke up this morning a smidge better, went with my travel buddies to grab breakfast at Sweetie Pie's. Seems that everything is quaint and cozy in Napa. Had a lemon scone and it was bomb. Some oatmeal - a bit too sweet, and not quite hot enough. Had such a huge dinner last night at Celadon - delicious, but we all had a ton of food. Highlight was the homemade warm apple crisp with ice cream.

Tonight we are headed to Ad Hoc for dinner, looks like a prix fixe deal. May hit a concert for tonight's New Year's festivities, includes champagne + hors d'oeuvres.

Hate feeling under the weather. Can't wait to feel like a normal human being again. Gives me a flashback to Barcelona when I had food poisoning and said the same thing.

Feeling a tiny bit guilty that I'm not with my family at the moment. Didn't expect that.

Got a job offer for a gig working abroad in Korea, need to give it some consideration. Hmm.

Total job applications: 2.

Blogging from SFO.

SFO = Airport love.

The way of the future. Airports done right. Clean, efficient, resourceful, and, best of all, has decent dining options!!!! Waiting for my friend to pick me up from SFO - don't mind waiting, since there is free wifi, good food, and clean areas to work, charge electronics, and lounge.

Today's the day we go to Napa Valley wooohhhh!

Unfortunately am getting sick. Am downing everything I've got - green tea, EmergenC, Advil Congestion pills, and now: GT's Enlightened Organic Raw Kombucha. It is NOT a fun drink to wash down, but it looks so unbelievably good for you and packed with the stuff that fights all things bad for your immune system. Hopefully it works. The worse it tastes, the more legit the stuff is, right?

My Dad dropped off my friend and myself to our respective places of transport - my Russian friend at 30th Street Station at 5:00 a.m., where she boarded a bus to New York City. And me - PHL airport, where my 8:15 a.m. flight was delayed to 9:26 a.m.

About yesterday: received 1 job rejection email. Sent 1 application out. Went to 1 job interview for the blah job. Not sure if it's for me. Seems a bit fishy/non-kosher/slightly questionable. They called me the same day to schedule a follow-up interview, which is apparently an all-day sort of job shadowing, which I believe there is no compensation involved. Apparently that is the 2nd of a 3 part hiring and interview series.

Today: Sent 1 job application via mediabistro. Intriguing bit of description, albeit.

So, for yesterday and today, here are the totals:

Total job applications: 1.

Total job rejections: 1.

Interviews: 1.

Shopping on the Day After Christmas With The Russian.

Been busy showing my friend from LA around the East coast - DC and Philly. She's my friend from LA and been visiting me since last week. Hahh just realized the title of my post reeks a bit Sex and the City.

Many realizations in DC - super stressed with living in my parents' house, the elongated stay coupled with the temporary loss of adult independence (HUGE STRESSOR), and the realization of denial of all the aforementioned. Sex drive is nonexistent, probably because, at the heart of the stress, is some depression blended in, considering the circumstances. AND with not potential attractive suitors around - it's been career focus all day, every day.

Been a blur of a few days. Def felt the moments where we were getting on each other's nerves. Funny how, when friends visit sometimes, or you're hosting, you notice those things that annoy you about your friends - their flaws, the many differences between you two, et cetera. Kinda like when you're traveling with a buddy that you haven't traveled with before - can get frustrating.

Went to the gym this morning, was frankly a bit nice to get a couple of hours to myself. The Russian Friend slept in and I got back from my workout. Cooked breakfast (bomb egg white omelet with spinach + goat cheese, fyi), cleaned my room a bit, and she didn't roll out of bed until about 11:15 a.m. or so. Chatted with my mom real quick and then we went to the mall.

King of Prussia was packed, managed to find a couple of lucky parking spots. The Russian got tired pretty early so we got out of there after a few hours. I bought a leather jacket. The Russian bought a white furry-looking number. Yep - different styles, different tastes, I know.

Walked into Bare Escentuals looking for a new foundation - been looking a bit off color, what with all the winter pallor. Ended up spending a honey on make-up: foundation, blemish cover, blush, and one brush ($28 a pop - that was painful! Must never lose brush. Must also never open up bare mineral products in windy weather. Not even a hint of a breeze, or else you'll be throwing money away). Girl that worked there did a color match for me and tested the make-up on my face, the whole shebang - that is one nice product. So subtle and natural-looking - I've been slathering on glop this whole time. Especially helps when you're a fully grown adult and covering up stress acne - who knew that the right make-up could work such wonders?

Have applied to absolutely no jobs in the past few days. It's Christmas!

Actually, remembered how the hiring during the stretch between Christmas and New Year's is pretty much dead in the water. Will dial it back a bit for the next week or so and focus on writing. Need to finish feature script. Relax. Have a drink.

Tomorrow's agenda (in no particular order): packing for napa, chill with the Russian friend, and job interview for blah job in the area. Eh, let's just see what it's about.

On Vacation, Bitches!

Picked up my friend from a seriously delayed flight at the PHL airport at 2 a.m. Her baggage never showed, so she had to file a claim and we got home around 3:30 a.m. Left for the train around 7:00 a.m. So fuckin' tired. Connecting time at 30th street station for an hour and a half. Hopped on the megabus to DC. Megabus ride kinda blowed this time around. Annoying loud ass bitch on her cell phone sat behind me. Wish I had said something, but mainly knocked myself out on and off for a couple of hours of sleep.

Got to DC and then took friend out to the White House, walked through the Foggy Bottom campus, and then hit the Kennedy Center for a free tour. Ended up heading back to my other friend's place, ordered pizza and had a fun night in. Went for a late run to Vons for some provisions. Fired up the garlic bread, andouille sausage, and pie that we bought. Was yummalicious. Forgot how good those foods could be. So much of life is discipline most of the time - eating healthy, working out, moderation. Nice to have those days of total abandon to balance it out.

Friday - today. Woke up late and felt like I had the best night of sleep that I had in a long time - was so fuckin tired last night. Cannot last on three hours of sleep, goes to show.

Went to the Capitol, walked around the National Mall, ventured into the botanical gardens, and saw the Washington Monument. Was windy and got cold so hightailed it back to my friend's place. Checked some emails. Did some marketing research, checked the job boards. Watched DVD with friend from out-of-town.

Emotionally and mentally felt good to just GET THE HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE and AWAY FROM MY PARENTS.

Didn't realize how much I desperately missed, no, desperately NEEDED, my days of independence again.

Got a ton of sunlight today walking around the city.

That's right, world. Take that, economy. I'm taking a vacation while unemployed. Deal with it, bitches!

Total job applications: 1.

Total vacation days: 2 (yesterday and today).

Wednesday, 12/21/11.

Got up at 1:00 p.m. Had a couple messages. Woke up with a tinge of a hint of a tickle in my throat. Or - something. A - dryness of sorts. Had a cup of hot green tea and later on some EmergenC.

Made sunny side-up eggs over a grilled chicken salad with goat cheese, sundried tomatoes, and toasted almonds.

Cleaned the guest bedroom and bathroom. Organized my room, folded laundry, did the dishes. Wrapped the Christmas gifts, organized my bathroom. Shaved my legs. Put away summer clothes in the basement.

Checked emails. Applied for 5 jobs. Slight headache beginning to form.

Set up one interview for next week for some blah account exec job. Set up another interview/meeting for a commercial real estate gig in LA when I'm there.

Got a handful of emails for boring ass jobs - should've known - I uploaded a new resume on careerbuilder last night. Gotta wipe the profile clean if I don't want to get those anymore.

Seriously gotta get out of this house, this funk. Depressing. Need to at least get a part-time gig. Made a small cup of instant coffee - was feeling tired. Debating whether or not to go to the gym.

Total job applications: 5.

Total job rejections: 1.

Total interviews: 2.

Tuesday's order.

Received 2 job rejection emails today.

Got up around 1:30 p.m. Went to the mall for mom's christmas party gift exchange gifts. Bought two and was done.

Bought some chocolates. Damn that is something a boyfriend is DEF supposed to be buying for me. Such injustice. First time I've had a piece of candy in..ever? Ages? Can't remember.

Spent tortuous time in car in the rain in traffic with parents for an incredibly annoying evening. 5 hours of driving and waiting and going to doctor with a distorted view of body image of women to get my thyroid checked. Had the audacity to say that I needed to lose weight. Fucking asshole. Didn't even check my bmi, didn't have the nurse use any calipers. Can't believe he said that - I'm the most in shape I've been in ages. I can do 100 push-ups and run a few miles every chance I get. Damn.

And yet he himself is overweight. I could smoke him in a two mile run.

Insensitive, distorted female body image-viewing, old male doctor.

Men are so unrealistic and insensitive. Gotta go to a woman for someone with brains and sensitivity as a human being.

Fucking asshole. Never going there again.

Got home. Couldn't get home soon enough and get the hell away from my parents.

Gotta get out of this house.

Applied to 5 jobs online - all at the same company.

Sent an email to a former temp agency of mine in LA that had some super nice people there. Need to find out what positions they've got available.

Registered on a temp agency website and checked their jobs. Checked emails.

Brushed my teeth. Put some salicylic acid on my face since I have face of a horny teenager. WTF?!! You hear what I just said? I had to put some ACID on my SKIN on my FACE; it's that bad. Using the face wash my dermatologist gave me - it's been 2 weeks so far; hasn't begun working yet. Hopefully it will sooner than later. Sigh. Way to kick a woman while she's down - attack her vanity.

Oh, character-building experiences.

Applied to 4 more jobs, including a part-time position. So unacceptably dim in my room. Need to buy a floor lamp ASAP. So damn dark. My eyes hurting from squinting - in the dark? At my computer screen? Will have to pick up tomorrow along with one last gift. Hopefully get to the mall early, before the crowds, and get out.

OD'd on the rest of the gourmet chocolates. Hello, candy. It's been awhile. Nice to know you still exist.

Total job applications: 9.

Total job rejections: 2.

Total employment email general inquiries sent: 1.

Total new profile creation on a job search website: 1.

Late Monday/Wee Hours of Tuesday.

Applied to 5 full-time jobs online. Applied to 1 part-time job. Made a few other inquiries for postings that piqued my interest, but weren't the cut-and-dry hiring procedural types. Did research for a half dozen other things.

Organized my job website bookmarks.

Couldn't sleep - tossed and turned the whole night. It's now past 6 a.m. Might as well stay up and fight the naps so I can fall asleep tonight and get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Made To Do List of things for today, plus shopping list of last remaining Christmas items.

Have half a mind to go to DK Diner and try the creamed chipped beef on toast as a reward for being awake during other-normal-people's waking hours.

Getting hungry, that's for sure.

Getting tired of being a gym rat. It's so much work to be healthy as an adult - eat healthy, work out. Every single day. Wish it was a project you could finish and move on with your life sometimes. Can't wait to get out of town. Maybe I just need to get out of the gym. Gets monotonous, as things do.

Today is December 20th. Darkness & cold are here. At least it's the holidays and things are lit up at night, which is night.

So blisteringly cold yesterday, though. That, I could do without. Or maybe because this house is so huge and drafty.

Can't wait to get started on this marketing campaign. Going to do some more research right now. Before I call in my order of creamed chipped beef, that is.

Total job applications for today: 6.

New Job (Kind of) !

Got up around 1:00 p.m. Got in the shower.

Checked emails. Left to grab some coffee and go to the bank. Filled up the tank on the way back.

Went home, checked some more emails. Began checking the job boards. Watched a little TV.

Started researching a few things for the folks. They need to get on board with modern times. I agreed to do their marketing. Starting with a business website, and then moving forward with other marketing plans. It's about time they had a website. Need to show the moms & the pops how to use and administer content on a website, and the use of Twitter and other tools. Not going to create it, going to show them so they know how to maintain it.

Maybe I could get Mom an iPad for Christmas. Or post-Christmas, for after business picks up from the marketing campaign I am going to launch.

So, that's a new part-time job (kind of). Am now covering the marketing for the family business. Am kind of excited - they should have done this a long time ago, except they're old school folks that don't like the computer.

Time to use the college education they paid for and put it to good use, I suppose.

Went to the gym, picked up some groceries, took a shower. Ate dinner. Checked emails, checked the job boards. Applied to a job online. Scoured several other descriptions.

Checked alternative job options ("for now" jobs) online.

Total job applications today: 1

Total job obtained: 1 part-time gig. Most likely will be for the next two months, and may taper off after all is up & running.

This Week's Job, Food, & Spending Round-Up.

Saturday.

Got up at 1:30 p.m. (WTF is going on with my body??!!) Had gotten up at 10:30 a.m. yesterday without a hitch. Couldn't sleep last night.

Ate a banana. Went to the gym. Took a shower. Had some leftover soup/stew bowl.

Took my little cousin out to a movie and grabbed a bite after. I really need to take her out more - have been neglecting my familial duties. She's a cool kid, too, so is a family member I actually like hanging out with. The rest of my family seems to always manage to successfully get on my nerves lately.

Had a garden omelet, ham, some pancakes. Coffee and one BOMB CHERRY PIE 'A LA MODE. Quite possibly the most satisfying meal I've had in ages. Cherry pie was homemade and warmed up. The pancake wasn't the best; but man that was a solid dining fare, as far as diners are concerned.

I remembered. I remembered how much I love to go out and eat good food. Sigh. Los Angeles' restaurant scene. Et cetera.

Applied to a temp job that I saw on craigslist. Yep. Didn't think it would have to come to this.

Total jobs applied to today: 1.

Thoughts of moving back to LA today: a wave of them.

This Week's Round-Up:

Total job applications: 21.

Total job rejections (at least, that I was contacted about): 1.

Total job interviews: 1.

Total breakfasts cooked: Probably 6.

This week's purchases:

one dinner at five guys ($5.51)

+ one latte ($3.45)

+ one dress (on sale! $24.82)

+ one Christmas gift ($40.60)

+ two movie tickets ($22)

+ a late night bite for two ($26.90)

------------------------------------------

$123.28 total

Early Saturday.

Never got around to working on my script.

After getting home from the gym, and getting on my computer, started shopping around for things. Like discount movie tickets. (Where have those things gone? I'd buy in bulk, c'mon!)

Then checked some bills online.

And then couldn't stop thinking about food.

Applied to 1 more job - more of a general inquiry, though, since a bunch were posted for the same company.

Started doing trip planning for LA - the eateries.

And then for DC.

But, mainly, just dreaming about food. And got hungry. Checked some local joints. Was expectedly disappointed about the offerings of the suburbs here. Telling myself, if I wake up early enough, I'll reward myself with picking up pancakes from the diner. But - it being 3 am now, not sure how likely that may be.

Downloaded the diner menu and began a 'Menus' folder on my laptop. Ogled the breakfast items. Google Imaged things like creamed chipped beef, Western omelet, Cobb salad. Salivated some more.

Opened up the teaching application. Did not work on it. Need to do that tomorrow.

Job applications: 1.

Friday, December 16th.

Woke up at 10:30 a.m. - a first in a while! And didn't take a nap later on!

Dropped off a modcloth return at my local post office. Picked up a vanilla latte as a reward for getting out of bed while the sun was still up.

Popped some frozen chocolate chip waffles in the toaster.

Checked emails. Did a job boards scan.

Applied to 3 jobs - had to register and fill out the big ole profile for each one, aka big time suck.

Called Boost Mobile again to set up my voicemail. This time, got through the automated bullshit and talked to a real LIVE PERSON who DIDN'T HAVE A THICK, OUTSOURCED HINDI ACCENT. Miraculous.

Had a turkey on kaiser. Was delish.

Went to the mall with the mother to do some returns/exchanges/store credit honoring dropped prices/shopping. Emerged victoriously with a '70s style printed shirtdress with a modern twist.

Got super annoyed with mom multiple times. These things are becoming more commonplace now. Frustrating to hear negative criticism when you're almost 30 years old and on a never-ending record. Drives me nuts. Today she has the balls to bring up something a third grade teacher said TWENTY YEARS AGO about my personality, to use as argument in how her criticism being drawn upon at hand is justified, in an 'I-Told-You-So' way.

Thought crossed my mind that I seriously can't wait to get a job and get out of the house. I miss my independence. Having my own place. My own kitchen. You know, my own LIFE.

For some reason breaking out like a fucking teenager the past few weeks. Probably hormones and stress. Just want it to go away already - I'm not drinking or smoking, I don't eat fast food or other unhealthy options, I've been hitting the gym 5 times a week, I'm unemployed, and I don't have a boyfriend so there is no action of love happening in my life. Can't I at least have decent looking skin?

Came home, noshed on some crackers but the mother insisted on having dinner. Went to the gym and almost puked with all that food sitting in my stomach. Never again.

Took a hot shower. Checked the job boards again. Made plans for tomorrow.

Brainstormed ways of promoting the family business. Getting web marketing ideas. Why did these not occur to me before???

Hosting a friend from out of town. Her neediness is getting a bit irritating. Never knew her to be that needy. She's known for being aggressively independent and selfish at times, and never lacking in assertiveness. But, then again, these are unusual times for both of us. She's been coming off pretty needy and unmotivated the past few weeks. God help us if we're both depressed at the same time while she's visiting.

Started thinking last night about more hot spots for food in LA. Food dreams getting stronger.

Applied to 3 more jobs on Mediabistro. Called it after that.

Was starved around midnight so had an orange and a pb&j on wheat English muffin.

Received 1 job rejection email.

Total jobs applied to: 6.

Total job rejections: 1.

Total purchases while currently unemployed: 1 coffee, 1 dress.

Late Thursday night.

Applied to a job at the shake shack.

Some of the jobs I applied to yesterday am curious to see what response I get back - I am overqualified for them.

I supposed at this point in time, it's good to be curious or expectant about anything. You gotta give yourself some things in life to look forward to.

And God knows I need a few things like that right now.

Am wondering, if I absolutely had to move back to LA and didn't have a job, if I could work at In-N-Out Burger. Would they even hire me? Or anybody, for that matter, with a college degree and six years of professional experience?

I could really go for a burger and some fries right about now.

Or a cupcake. Am thinking about the chocolate tower truffle cake my friends and I had at the cheesecake factory. And the incredible lunch spots near my old neighborhood in LA. Thai food. Kogi tacos. Mexican tacos. Uhhhhh.

Crap. The LA food dreams are back.

Total job applications: 1.

Rainy Thursday.

Got up around 4:00 p.m. with really greasy hair. Is it getting colder during the days now? Hard to get up out of bed. So grey today.

Made some egg whites. Had some yogurt with some cereal thrown in. Why is there no muesli sold at my local ShopRite grocery store? C'mon!

Checked emails. Checked the job boards. Tried fixing the printer. Called India to troubleshoot some more. They were going to charge, so I relied on my own devices and lo and behold, the printer is back in business. Wasn't as lucky with Boost mobile's customer service options - tried to set up voicemail again. Sent an email. Gave up. Went to the gym.

Took a hot shower. Watched some TV.

Called a couple friends.

Applied to 6 jobs online. 3 of them are for 'just-for-now' kinds of jobs. The other 3 are for my career.

Checked the weather. Fighting a headache.

My glasses start giving me a headache.

Total jobs applied to: 6.

Wednesday, December 14th.

Woke up at 2:00 p.m. Super cloudy and chilly. Was hard to get up today.

Made a pot of coffee. Had a turkey sandwich. The sandwich was really good today. Roasted turkey on a kaiser roll, with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mayo. A handful of Kettle brand Sour Cream and Onion chips. Bomb lunch. I declare this will be sufficient to be my usual lunch for the next couple of weeks.

Got the coat I ordered from Modcloth. Way too tight and baggy in the wrong places and completely unflattering. Will have to ship a return tomorrow.

Went to the Exton square mall with Mom and shopped all evening. Had a hamburger from Five Guys - first ever. Pretty good. Didn't realize the textbook hamburger was a double burger. With lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, ketchup. Fought back the urge to buy fries.

Also, the food court at the Exton Square Mall sucks. There is no sit-down joint - just food court fare. No decent pizza. A casual cafe would be nice. There's no sushi spot. No Carl's Jr. No Thai food, no decent Mexican food (but, of course, this is the suburban northeast). Sigh. I miss the authentic tacos of LA. The flavorful spiciness of Thai food. A hot bowl of pho noodles. A big slice of NY pizza. The dessert options and latte art of Urth Caffe.

Forgot how good a burger could be. Can't remember the last time I had one. Did I go to In-N-Out burger the last time I was in LA? Hmm. No, wait. I did have a burger back in LA. It was on a spur of the moment run - a McDonald's drive-thru. I ordered a hamburger happy meal. Yep. September. How sad - that was the last time I had a burger - and it was not premeditated. Will have to do it right and hit In-N-Out or Umami the next time.

Ended up getting a strawberry banana smoothie for dessert. Go health.

Went home. Made a hot cup of green tea. Ate a sugar cookie. Checked a few job boards. Answered some emails. Watched TV online. Applied to 4 jobs.

For belated dinner/midnight snack/my new dinnertime had some smoked salmon on a whole wheat English muffin.

Can't wait to get out of town over New Year's.

Mom is making her herbal tea, which sits on the island in the kitchen in a crock pot and boils for ten hours and stinks up the entire house. I am upstairs in my room, with the door closed. I can smell it from here. She gets it from somebody who gets it shipped from Korea. From what I can tell, it most closely resembles prunes and handfuls of grassy dirt thrown into a pot of boiling water. So, prune-dirt tea.

Need to get my thyroid checked. Have been breaking out, and the derma doc says it could be hormonal and I should get a blood test from an ob/gyn to check out my thyroid. Want to get it over with already. Need to make an appointment. But it's a blood test, so I'm imagining just popping into the office, having any nurse draw my blood sample, and I leave, and they call me with the results a couple days later. Need to go find an ob/gyn or thyroid doc.

Weird. My body is out of sync these days. I think I need more sunlight. Winter months are a big bummer to the immune system, anyway.

Total jobs applied to today: 4.

Tuesday.

Woke up.

Made some scrambled egg whites with a toasted slice of English muffin.

Went to the gym.

Ate dinner.

Checked a couple job boards; nothing new of interest.

Can't remember what else I did today.

Applied to: 0 jobs today.

Monday's update.

Applied to 8 jobs today.

Had one phone interview for a teaching job abroad.

Sunday.

Happy about the two pairs of heels I got yesterday.

One pair of perforated yellow patent leather, pointy-toed heels. One pair of black lace-covered satin, peep-toed stilettos.

And my feet fit into both of them.

Woke up around 1:30 p.m. Went back to sleep and woke up for real at 2 p.m. Got up, made egg whites. Put on a pot of coffee. Watched some TV. Did the dishes. Cleaned my room.

Called my friend whom I'm hosting over Christmas. Talked jobs, life, her upcoming trip. Made plans for our time in DC.

Called my friend with whom I'm going to Napa over New Year's. Mainly talked mba experience. Debating grad school. Et cetera. Went to the fabric store and bought interfacing. Went to the bookstore and worked on my laptop for a bit, edited my feature screenplay. Ate an oatmeal cookie.

Did a quick check of the job boards.

Went home, cooked dinner. Watched Once Upon A Time. Did the dishes. Watched Stand By Me. Added the interfacing to a handbag. Stitched the lining shut. Sewed the adjustable strap on one of my bras. Tried it on. Fit like a glove.

Checked emails. Watched some Hulu. Wrote two emails to follow up regarding jobs I had applied for.

Pulled out my grey jeans. Need to hem it. Maybe tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have a job interview for a teaching position in South Korea. Not as jazzed as you might think.

Praying for direction. Trying not to get depressed.

Saturday.

Woke up at 1:27 p.m.

Grabbed a bite. Got dressed.

Went shopping with the mother. Ended up going all evening. Bought two pairs of heels for less than fifty bucks (score!), a hooded jacket, one long-sleeved tee, one wool hat, one cable sweater. Three Christmas gifts. Not too bad.

Got home. Freezing cold tonight.

Checked some job boards. Brainstormed alternative, I'm-in-between-professional-jobs jobs.

Friday, December 9th.

Woke up at 2:15 p.m. Couldn't sleep last night.

Got up, got dressed. Freezing cold today. Whipped up some sunny side-up eggs.

Scoured job boards. Shopped online. Bought a tweed jacket.

Did laundry.

Applied to 4 jobs.

Canceled my facebook account a couple days ago. Feeling relieved to not have the time suck. Still plenty of things that serve that purpose.

Thought about going to the gym. Passed. Still sore from yesterday.

Worked on editing 10 pages of script. am now at 50 pages of edits done.

4:23 a.m. Going to bed. Setting alarm for 9:30 a.m.

Thursday Recap.

Rolled out around at 1:15 p.m.

Went to doc's appointment since my face is breaking out like a teenager.

Had coffee on near-empty stomach.

Returned a jacket.

Worked on my laptop for a couple of hours at barnes & noble. Mainly scoured job boards, finished drafting and sent off a few emails.

Ate a turkey sandwich. Watched TV online. Plucked my eyebrows.

Went to the gym.

Ate dinner. Watched Grimm.

Freezing cold today.

Shopped for a tweed jacket online. There really aren't that many fashionable, flattering, feminine, warm tweed jackets for women. Somebody better get on that. That market in the fashion world is wide open.

Scoured job boards some more. Stomach is feeling bothered. Gotta remember not to have coffee until I've eaten something first.

Jobs applied to today: 6.

Job rejection emails received: 1.

Hump Day.

Woke up at 4 or 5pm. Must've slept for about 12 hours.

Ate a grilled cheese sandwich.

Checked emails. Went to the gym. Didn't realize how late it was, stayed until it closed at 10 p.m.

Was pouring rain outside. Cold, too.

Came home, had a late dinner of noodle soup and threw in some fresh lime and cilantro.

Watched TV. More emails.

Checked one job board.

Did not work on my novel today. Did not work on my feature script.

2:21 a.m. Hopefully will be able to fall asleep.

Late Tuesday/Early Wednesday.

Slept in 4 hour increments. Again.

Applied to no jobs today.

Received 1 job rejection email.

Received 1 "you're-under-consideration-for-this-job-that-you-applied-for" email.

Yesterday (Tuesday) - tried on my Zappos. Returned all my Zappos. Picked up ink cartridge. Went to the fabric store. Bought a plaid shirt. Blue and cute as heck.

Went home. Ate a tuna sandwich. Proceeded to take a deep-sleeping, serious REM-filled 4 hour nap. Woke up. Ate dinner. Worked out. Went home. Checked emails. Watched TV online. Shopped online.

Opened up my feature script and started editing.

Did not work on my novel today.

New week.

It's December. Crap.

Triple crap.

Applied to 1 job yesterday.

Really need to focus this week. Running errands is such a time suck. Just like job hunting.

This week, I need to have a more disciplined writing regimen.

And, start giving grad school some more serious thought. As well as moving to nyc. Or back to LA. Or working abroad.

Heating up chicken fingers at 5:00 a.m. Woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. And then got hungry. So now I'm sleeping in erratic, uncontrollable fashion. Slept in 4-hour increments in the past 24 hours. Slept for 10+ hours once last weekend. Starting to reintroduce natural sunlight, or at least daylight hours, into my life. That is, when my body manages to crawl its ass out of bed during relevant times.

Life is difficult to begin when you're all warm and cozy in bed. Winter can suck.

Got 1 job rejection email today.

New things.

Sick of cold weather. Today seems like a good day to move to Mexico.

So sick of job hunting. Looking forward to getting out of town over new year's. Wonder how the weather will be in napa. Also, nothing planned yet for the actual eve of the new year. Hopefully will happen upon something fun. With attractive, single gentlemen.

Went shopping for a couple hours with the mom. We both came up with no goods to show for our efforts.

Got crafty and had a mini vintage jewelry making sesh. I'm kind of awesome.

Applied to 1 job today.

Friday, December 2nd. The Day The Sun Appeared.

At least, for more than a few minutes. Because I was awake for it this time.

To be honest, though, the sun hasn't been making much of an effort lately.

Went to UPS to return my Zappos shoes.

Went to DSW but couldn't find any shoes for my thick, wide, monstrosity feet.

Bought a cup of coffee and stopped for gas.

Downloaded some Ludacris songs.

Checked the job boards. Not much new bait to bite on. Forget the good-looking ones for today.

Ate a banana.

Looking forward to escaping to Napa over New Year's. Thank you, frequent flyer miles.

Applied to 1 job today.

Received 1 job rejection email.

Wednesday, November 30th Update.

30,433 words of my novel.

Applied to 3 jobs today.

Job rejection emails received: 2.

My Mother Went Shopping Without Me.

I've been in such vampire-sleeping mode that my mother left to go shopping without me. She didn't even bother waking me up.

That was a pretty painful blow.

So. I'm breaking out. I'm almost 30 years old, and I am having acne issues, which are undoubtedly stress and/or hormone-induced.

Gotta be fucking kidding me.

I'm not drinking, I'm not smoking, I'm not going out, I'm not getting any action, I'm not working, and to top all of that, I get a terrible case of breakouts? Life can really toss a dial of suck sometimes.

I need some validation. As a writer. As a woman. As a human being.

And, I need some sunlight.

I didn't write a single word yesterday. Did some writing today.

1 job rejection email received.

0 jobs applied to today.

Word count as of 5:00 a.m.: 29,811 words.

Tomorrow's the last day of NaNoWriMo. Finishing deadline is at 50,000 words. I am a bit behind, as you can see. We'll see what I can get done tomorrow in a single day.

Sunday, November 27th, 2011.

Back to the drawing board.

Goals. For today. For next month. For next year.

Figuring things out again.

Depression. Sleep. Food. Sleep. Coffee.

Plot. Characters.

Am thinking about how my shoes fit. How each shoe fits differently. Good fit. Bad fit. Ok, I must definitely be going crazytown. Yes - not crazy. Crazytown.

Neuroses is a bitch.

Applied to 1 job that I am overqualified for.

Writing some more. Fighting urge for a cookie. Or some sort of munchie.

7:38 p.m. 27, 160 words.

2:00 a.m. 28, 302 words. (So, technically Monday.)

Jobs applied for: 1.

Word count: 28, 302.

Late Saturday/Early Sunday.

Applied to one job.

Word count: 26, 264.

Did some writing. Back the notes. Added to feature story ideas. Sent an excerpt of my feature script to a colleague. Wrote more notes on my comedy material. Back to the novel.

4 a.m. Gotta go to bed.

Total jobs applied to: 1

Word count: 26,670.

Going to bed.

Saturday.

Today is the day that I applied to another job online.

I immediately received a bounced message, indicating that I had already otherwise submitted a resume to the website's general application database/already applied to the job/no need, we got it.

So I guess that means I didn't apply to the job. It didn't count.

Friday.

Spent the day sleeping. Then working out.

Then eating.

Tendonitis acting up last night.

Did some laundry.

Then some tv.

And some more tv.

And not writing.

Crap.

Resistance is winning this week.

Saturday's gonna be a bitch, Resistance.

Aord count: 25,817.

Thursday Night's word count.

Am at 25,788 as of now.

Hoping to catch up many words this weekend. Need to do a sit-down, clear headedness, etc. etc. et cetera. Wish there was some sort of haven, a retreat, beachside getaway I could go to relax, lounge, and sip a smoothie while clearing my mind and writing.

Wednesday. Pre-Turkey Day.

Holy crap. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

It really is.

What the hell am I doing with my life, again?

And what, exactly, have I accomplished this year?

Got up.

Made late night snack of guacamole and had some lime Tostitos and it was amazing. Thus, a bit bloated when getting up today.

Didn't apply to any jobs today.

Heard back from my teaching agency on the latest openings.

Checked the job boards.

Obsessively checked gmail.

Shopped online.

Bought a pair of shoes on zappos that I had no business buying.

Total words: 25,369.

Jobs applied for today:0.

Tuesday.

Rolled out of bed around 1:30 p.m.

Had a cup of tea and a croissant. Munched on yesterday's oatmeal cookies.

Checked the job boards. linkedin, meredith, cynopsis, nbcuni, urbn careers, monster, jibe, uta.

Researched more on grad schools of interest. Costs of top mba programs are apparently at the 70-90k mark.

5:21 p.m. Applied to 14 jobs today so far.

1 job closing email received; basically a rejection, since it states "this position you have applied for has now been closed," so if you haven't heard by now, you're most likely not going to.

Need to catch up on my novel. Am at the halfway mark though I need to be more like at the three-quarter mark.

Scoured more job postings. Watched TV. Worked on the novel.

Total jobs applied for today: 14

Rejection emails: 1

Total word count: 25,192.

Congratulations, Los Angeles. You've Turned Me Into A Bona Fide Spoiled Brat.

I declare a loathsome affliction towards relentless cloudy days. And rain. And coldness.

Thanks, LA. You'e spoiled me with amazing weather.

Crap.

I hate the idea of getting used to something. The comfort. Amenities. Of course, all of that was completely thrown out the window last year, but now that I've landed stateside, it dawned on me that the most stationary time I've spent in the past ten years was in LA.

Double crap.

What I didn't know when I left LA was how LONG I would miss the weather. And, want it back. And long for it. And salivate for the Mexican food I couldn't have.

Anyway. Back to the latest.

Today?

Woke up late again.

Got one email rejection regarding one job I had applied for.

Scoured the job boards, per the usual rounds.

Applied for 1 job today.

Went to a painful trip to Sam's Club and then regular grocery store for Thanksgiving prep. Sam's club is not fun. What's with all the security checks, anyway?

Feel a massive headache coming on.

Made some oatmeal raisin cookies.

OD'd on said cookies.

Sunday.

No, wait.

Applied to 6 jobs on LinkedIn today.

Signed up on PleasePoach.Me yesterday. Interesting concept.

Then again, what concepts aren't interesting?

5:51 p.m. 22, 383 words to my novel.

7:50 p.m. Getting a bit hungry. Hmm. Not sure if it's late enough such that my house is empty of the folks' houseguests. Now at 22,889 words.

8:00 p.m. 23,031 words. Broke 23,000 words, bitches!!! Wooh!

8:45 p.m. 23, 559 words total. Getting hungry and thirsty. Better head home, I guess.

Total Jobs: 6.

Word Count: 23,879.

Out-of-Towners.

I hate hosting distant relatives from out-of-town. It's always last-minute, and during the weekend when you had plans for wallowing in self-pity - I mean, when you had a lot of writing to get done.

Woke up at 2:00 p.m. today. Arms are sore from yesterday's underarm flab-busting exercises.

5:13 p.m. Sitting at Panera drinking coffee and munching on an oatmeal raisin cookie. Good to get out of the house. Sit in a different, public space away from the parents.

Did not look at a single job description yet today. Yay me.

5:31 p.m. Am at 20,733 words. SO, about 13,000 words behind schedule. And a dozen, since I still haven't taken out the date stamps that are nestles all throughout.

Went to obligated dinner with parents and distant relative and his two friends. They are 19, 20 year-olds. His friends would be lookers in a few years, I gathered.

Getting tired of being surrounded by guys that I have no interest in.

Unless I just turn cougar at some point.

2:00 a.m. 21, 056 words.

Checked application status on one job website. There were also no new postings on it.

Looked up questionable ailments on the web.

3:00 a.m. 22,013 words. Yeah, bitches! MOVING RIGHT ALONG!

Described a scene where one of the characters is shirtless. Realized that there are lots of super attractive young men in my novel. I really need to get some in real life.

I suppose that makes this very much a fantasy world. Like Twilight. Everyone just happens to be ripped. Alright, fantasy world of my novel. I'm game.

Freezing.

Sooo freaking cold today. 44 degrees as a high.

Started scouring job boards again. Head still in a fog from sleep, fighting back a phlegm-y feelig throat this morning.

3:09 p.m. Not feeling fully awake or alert.

For some reason, as I begin to read through job descriptions, a bleak and foul cloud hanging over head. Probably just from my tiredness.

Called Virgin Mobile again since my new phone still isn't activated after 48 hours. They advised me of 24 hours to activate it. And if it doesn't, I'm supposed to call again. Not liking the customer service I'm receiving so far. From India.

Am feeling particularly reluctant today to put on a show, do a little song and dance routine, jump through hoops - I mean, write cover letters that make me stand out from the crowd, and whip up an original writing sample just for the purposes of applying to ONE FREAKING JOB that pays lower than my minimum required salary that apparently has a FEW HUNDRED OTHER APPLICANTS.

Dreaming about lying on a beach in Costa Rica. Or Bali.

Went to the gym after dinner. Kinda nice when it's barren inside. Yet all the treadmills with individual TV screens were all taken. What's up with that?

10:57 p.m. Applied to two jobs tonight.

Today's total: 2 job applications.

Later watched some Hulu. Got back to the novel. Cranked out 1838 words. Yeah, bitches!

"Congratulations, Sir, You're Destroying America."

2 job rejection emails received.

Watched Modern Family on Hulu. Hence the title of today's post.

Got an email yesterday from a job located in nyc. Recruiter indicated that they were only taking local candidates.

Perhaps I could have mentioned that The Roots commuted to nyc every day from Philly.

Went to a dance class last night. First time in over six months. Neck is a bit sore.

3 o'clock. Applied to 5 jobs today.

Obsessively checked application status on other job website.

Went to the gym and pounded on the treadmill for awhile. Took a hot shower. Felt better about life.

10 p.m. Applied to one job that I am overqualified for, anyway.

Put on a pot of decaf. Wrote some jokes.

Checked through some more job postings. Getting bummed out.

Obsessively checked gmail inbox.

A total of 17, 598 words in my novel for NaNoWriMo. However, I added date stamps in there so the real number is a few hairs lower. So, about 33,000 more words to go. And about 12 more days to do it. So, if I crank out about 3,000 words a day, I should have the first draft of a novel.

Go team.

Also, chalked up 4,558 words of notes on jokes. For my yet-to-be-realized career as a stand-up comic. Today's notes came outta nowhere.

Total: 6 job applications for Thursday.

And Today In The World Of The Unemployed.

Applied to four more jobs today.

Emailed one of my credit card companies about crediting my account for the $50 annual fee, inquired about concessions made for cardholders whom are currently unemployed. Requested a credit of the amount, plus canceling the account and refunding me the current credit on my account. Because - ahem, I actually overpaid my last payment and have a credit of over two honeys on my account.

Paid a couple other credit card bills online. Am thinking I really need to cut back on my credit cards. I have 1 Chase visa card (not sure why I have this one), 1 Capital One Card (for the no-foreign-transaction-fees perk), 1 US Airways Mastercard (for the miles), 1 AAdvantage card (for the miles), 2 B of A credit cards (rewards points+no annual fees+lowest APR of any of my cards). Gonna put more of these on the chopping block.

Just like my UnFriending spree.

Almost 5 o'clock. Gonna go brush my teeth and go to the gym.

One more job.

That brings the day's total to: 5 jobs.

Unbelievably warm night.

Strangely warm tonight. Cracked open a window. Didn't bother with the flannel.

Watched Gossip Girl.

Did some Googling for my novel.

Starting to get stuck on my story's aimless and indistinct plot lines. Perhaps writing a novel is more like writing a script than I previously thought.

Saw The Change-Up. Thank goodness I didn't see it with any family members; there are some bona fide raunchy scenes in there. I had a visceral reaction to many of them. Had to have been written and directed by a dude. Am sufficiently grossed out.

Thinking that there needs to be waaaay more women directors out there.

Shaved my legs.

Managed to pen a few hundred more words. Seriously getting stuck.

Feel like I've been watching a LOT of tv lately. One thing that is true of all these cliched romances is that there is a monumental significance in the kiss. If a guy can kiss and knows his way around a liplock, ladies are gonna want him around for awhile. It's always in the kiss.

I seriously need a boyfriend. As a girlfriend, I'd be kind of awesome.

Getting the munchies.

ADD.

Convinced that today's modern video content distributors and quick forms of communication have shot my attention span to hell.

Can't focus for some reason. Always something else I could be doing.

Monday for an Unemployed, Educated, Professional American.

Got one job rejection email today. The "thanks, but no thanks" letters. For most of them, hiring managers don't even send a response at all.

Looked up recipes for scones. Debated whether or not to make them.

Put on a pot of coffee. Made breakfast.

Watched Family Guy.

Looked up work/volunteer abroad programs. Can't believe how many organizations charge a ridiculous fee for 'volunteer' programs.

Felt depressed. I know, because I slept for 9 or 10 hours and I'm not fighting any trace of a cold.

Checked job postings.

Paid credit card bills online.

Applied for a job. Didn't even bother formatting the resume.

Applied to two more jobs. Used one of my generic cover letters. Submitted for a bunch more.

Applied to another job. Had to register and set up a new profile. Hate those things.

Cringing because am hoping to God I don't have to take another Assistant position. Things are looking bleak, though.

Applied to half a dozen more jobs.

Total jobs applied to today: 23.

Almost 5 o'clock. Now to leave the house tonight or not.

Applied to 7 more jobs, which brings today's Total to: 23.

8:10 p.m. One more.

Total: 24 jobs applied to today.

Yesterday's word count.

2,136 words yesterday, bitches! Boo-ya. Bazinga! Whatever.

ALSO, just figured out my main character's last name after penning page 30. Double Bazinga, bitches!

Oacun, I like Saturdays. Usually most offices are closed, including HR offices. Which means next to no new job postings to check. Took the day off from job hunting. Thank God.

Another reason to like Sundays, too. Thank God for a lot of things.

Also.

Feeling the beginnings of a monstrous pimple on my chin. One of those that start growing under your skin and feels sore like a bruise, so you know it's going to be BIG, UGLY, and HURT like a bitch.

10,000 words.

So, 10,000 words behind.

It's after midnight. I feel slightly nauseous because I just OD'd on some brownies. In my defense, it's no day at the beach to constantly struggle against aging and genetics and a slow metabolism in the perpetual Fight Against Fat and Being An American Woman Who Actually Eats.

So I applied to 32 jobs yesterday.

It's true. All 32 of them.

Almost angrily, in an impassioned, taking-vengeance sort of way.

But who thinks of applying to jobs as seeking revenge against the economy?

Saturday.

4:10 p.m. Applied to a total of 8 jobs so far today. Feeling a bit down today.

Going to the gym. Need to fight the fat again. Returning to the novel later today.

Joined an online dating site, nymag.howaboutwe.com. Interesting set-up. Flipped through the date matches. Or the dates proposed by matches. And the general pop. of the members. Things are getting pretty desperate - or modern, however you look at it. I kind of want a boyfriend/man/boy wonder/superhero boytoy/awesome husband to snuggle with already. Fast forward through years into the relationship, like Liz Lemon, and get to the part where you're completely comfortable around each other, and everybody goes to bed without anybody trying any funny business. Except, maybe a little bit of funny business.

Now Sunday. 1:05 a.m. 827 words.

Worked on an old screenplay. Added a few new characters in on scene. Need to stop dicking around and get at least my first completed rough draft done. Story needs more conflicts. Built-up plot in the story line. So far feels like fragmented events that don't really lead to anything.

Need to get my shit together for this national novel writing month project, too. Been procrastinating too much. Time to get down to business tomorrow.

Today's Agenda.

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011.

2:38 p.m. Applied to a job that I'm way under qualified for. Registered on a new website to specifically apply just for that job.

2:45 p.m. Returned to my manuscript for National Novel Writing Month. Am at least 1,000 words behind schedule because of yesterday's procrastination.

2:50 p.m. Forgot to lock my door again. Mom burst into my room. I tell her to get out. She say, "What? I'm not bothering you." Isn't that up to the bothered party to decide? Because bothersome people don't know when they're being bothersome?

2:55 p.m. Watched some clips of late night shows on Hulu.

3:10 p.m. Reading LA Times. Missing LA. Mainly the weather. And running through my route in Griffith Park.

Maybe it's time to go continue my writing at Barnes & Noble. Must go to the gym today, since I didn't go yesterday, and I can feel my thighs growing again. Although my calves are still in pain from Monday and Tuesday's workouts.

3:15 p.m. Flossed and brushed my teeth. Felt sexy fresh and clean after. Not just fresh, sexy fresh. Must do these mid-afternoon floss+brushings more often.

3:27 p.m. Was thinking about how my mother always complains about my sleepwear. I have two pairs of velour lounge pants that I absolutely live in. She nags that I don't have proper pajamas, the matching set kind. I guess partly because they're more feminine? Or ladylike, whatever? Little does she know that I have some pretty racy lingerie buried in my underwear drawer.

Not that I have a boyfriend or husband. I bet every woman has a piece of sexy lace- or silk-something though, regardless of relationship status.

Went to pick up some crafting supplies at Michael's and Jo-ann's.

6:20 p.m. Finally got to Barnes&Noble, found a table, and sat down to write. But there were a million little kids there for some reason so it was a zoo. Hating all little kids right about now. Sooo freakin loud. Determined to choke out my 2,000 words and get the hell out of there. So far am at 201 words for the day. Let's see how much I can get done here. Or at least how long it'll take me.

6:39 p.m. 352 words. Little kids are still making this place a madhouse.

6:53 p.m. 792 words. Screaming kids. Now the adult kids (i.e. adolescent kids + a few of those bellowing types of guys) are filling up the roar of children by trying to yell over them. What is this, a pub ? Is it happy hour at Barnes & Noble? Wow. I really gotta get out of the suburbs. There needs to be more independently owned coffee shops and bookstores around here. Something.

7:02 p.m. 988 words. Am seriously guessing it may be 988 words of jumbled crap. Zoo is still here. Trying to survive at least one hour here of writing before heading to the gym.

7:09 p.m. 1148 words. Can't take much more of this. Getting out of here to get my workout on.

Men With Whom I'd Like To Get Trapped With In An Elevator

There is no romantic interest in my life at the moment. Not that there's been any short of eye- or heart-candy, thanks to modern cinematic viewing formats.

After hearing that people, even celebs, get stuck in elevators, my imagination began to wander.

Men With Whom I'd Like To Get Trapped With In An Elevator (and Go To First Base).

Bradley Cooper

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Leonardo DiCaprio

James McAvoy

Elijah Wood

Ed Westwick

Derek Hough

Justin Timberlake

Zac Efron

John Cho

Diego Luna

Ryan Hansen

When You Start Checking Craigslist For Job Postings

You know the economy has gotten ugly, even for you.

Especially when you have a college degree, additional educational certification, professional and international experience, and a growing portfolio to boot.

Things have gotten slow. Real slow.

I've begun this new blog. I've caught up on every television show I've ever enjoyed, and am completely tapped out - boredom is the next big evil.

Not that there's any shortage of things to do. When you're a writer, there's always something that needs to be done. It's the monotony of my days and the lack of social interaction that's getting to me.

I left my job in Los Angeles last year to pursue an opportunity that excited me. It winded its way around through other areas, and ended up not panning out.

Now I'm back in my parent's house. Pushing 30. Beginning to lose my mind. Now, since the diversity of people I interact are now the fictional characters I write about in my manuscript.

What did I do today?

Checked Hulu. Checked a few job sites. Applied to a couple more jobs. Hemmed a pair of leg warmers. Ordered Victoria's Secret pajamas online. Started checking Craigslist last night for job postings. Just to see what was out there. And then, realized, was probably going to end up applying for some of the jobs posted.

I've been looking for a job for over six months now. Domestically and abroad.

Even with my vast network of contacts, the job leads have been few and far between, if at all.
Number of job interviews I've had? Four and a half. The half was more of a meet-and-greet-pre-job-interview, to see if I was even interested sort of deal.

Decided to sign up for National Novel Writing Month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/dashboard), to get my ass on a focused writing deadline and to help take my mind off the present.

Not sure if I'm depressed so much as starved for inspiration and mental stimulation. I have few friends in the suburbs on the East coast, after college I left for LA, and thus have been pretty much a homebody since then.

Had the flu last week. Am glad I'm not sick this week.

Grabbed the mail. Got the rejection letter from the one job I interviewed for that I was actually remotely interested in.

Am actually considering applying for a part-time job at Anthropologie. For the HOLIDAY SEASON. I don't even like retail. One thing I like about shopping online is that I don't have to deal with people. Crowds. Lines. Parking. Maybe I should write a letter to find out why they misspelled 'anthropology.' It would make for cheaper marketing, at the very least.

It's gonna be okay though, I think. Because I'm a writer. Writers write.

I could seriously use a boy crush, however. At least a man of potential interest. Even low potential interest. Distractions are underrated. Single gentlemen, where are you at?

What excites you?

Hello, new blog.

I forgot about that question. Why is it always the simple questions that are the most important, that are the ones most easily forgotten?

I dreamt about the beginning of the end - my end, to clarify. I had this weird dream that I was dead and it was the first two days of my death, and my spirit was watching over my family and how the world was existing without me. Or, something like that.

Weird dreams when you're nearing 30.

I feel like I'm waiting for life to begin. But maybe I could just be doing some things. Stop thinking about things so much and just live life.

If only I could be that nonchalant. Like a mindless surfer.

No, I tend to look at life in that diagram of decision clouds. Or action clouds - whatever sequence of clouds lead from one action to another, but the decisions you make have a direct correlation to a unique outcome. What are those things called? Yeah, one of those.

In all the months of job hunting and hustling and networking and soul searching and self questioning and introspective research, I've come to the realization that whatever it is, I just want to do something, the next adventure, the next city I live in, the next job I have, basically the next BIG OL' LIFE DECISION - has to be something that I'm excited about. Because it's high time for me to get excited about something.

Remember that question? What excites you?