My Mother Went Shopping Without Me.

I've been in such vampire-sleeping mode that my mother left to go shopping without me. She didn't even bother waking me up.

That was a pretty painful blow.

So. I'm breaking out. I'm almost 30 years old, and I am having acne issues, which are undoubtedly stress and/or hormone-induced.

Gotta be fucking kidding me.

I'm not drinking, I'm not smoking, I'm not going out, I'm not getting any action, I'm not working, and to top all of that, I get a terrible case of breakouts? Life can really toss a dial of suck sometimes.

I need some validation. As a writer. As a woman. As a human being.

And, I need some sunlight.

I didn't write a single word yesterday. Did some writing today.

1 job rejection email received.

0 jobs applied to today.

Word count as of 5:00 a.m.: 29,811 words.

Tomorrow's the last day of NaNoWriMo. Finishing deadline is at 50,000 words. I am a bit behind, as you can see. We'll see what I can get done tomorrow in a single day.

Sunday, November 27th, 2011.

Back to the drawing board.

Goals. For today. For next month. For next year.

Figuring things out again.

Depression. Sleep. Food. Sleep. Coffee.

Plot. Characters.

Am thinking about how my shoes fit. How each shoe fits differently. Good fit. Bad fit. Ok, I must definitely be going crazytown. Yes - not crazy. Crazytown.

Neuroses is a bitch.

Applied to 1 job that I am overqualified for.

Writing some more. Fighting urge for a cookie. Or some sort of munchie.

7:38 p.m. 27, 160 words.

2:00 a.m. 28, 302 words. (So, technically Monday.)

Jobs applied for: 1.

Word count: 28, 302.

Late Saturday/Early Sunday.

Applied to one job.

Word count: 26, 264.

Did some writing. Back the notes. Added to feature story ideas. Sent an excerpt of my feature script to a colleague. Wrote more notes on my comedy material. Back to the novel.

4 a.m. Gotta go to bed.

Total jobs applied to: 1

Word count: 26,670.

Going to bed.

Saturday.

Today is the day that I applied to another job online.

I immediately received a bounced message, indicating that I had already otherwise submitted a resume to the website's general application database/already applied to the job/no need, we got it.

So I guess that means I didn't apply to the job. It didn't count.

Friday.

Spent the day sleeping. Then working out.

Then eating.

Tendonitis acting up last night.

Did some laundry.

Then some tv.

And some more tv.

And not writing.

Crap.

Resistance is winning this week.

Saturday's gonna be a bitch, Resistance.

Aord count: 25,817.

Thursday Night's word count.

Am at 25,788 as of now.

Hoping to catch up many words this weekend. Need to do a sit-down, clear headedness, etc. etc. et cetera. Wish there was some sort of haven, a retreat, beachside getaway I could go to relax, lounge, and sip a smoothie while clearing my mind and writing.

Wednesday. Pre-Turkey Day.

Holy crap. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

It really is.

What the hell am I doing with my life, again?

And what, exactly, have I accomplished this year?

Got up.

Made late night snack of guacamole and had some lime Tostitos and it was amazing. Thus, a bit bloated when getting up today.

Didn't apply to any jobs today.

Heard back from my teaching agency on the latest openings.

Checked the job boards.

Obsessively checked gmail.

Shopped online.

Bought a pair of shoes on zappos that I had no business buying.

Total words: 25,369.

Jobs applied for today:0.

Tuesday.

Rolled out of bed around 1:30 p.m.

Had a cup of tea and a croissant. Munched on yesterday's oatmeal cookies.

Checked the job boards. linkedin, meredith, cynopsis, nbcuni, urbn careers, monster, jibe, uta.

Researched more on grad schools of interest. Costs of top mba programs are apparently at the 70-90k mark.

5:21 p.m. Applied to 14 jobs today so far.

1 job closing email received; basically a rejection, since it states "this position you have applied for has now been closed," so if you haven't heard by now, you're most likely not going to.

Need to catch up on my novel. Am at the halfway mark though I need to be more like at the three-quarter mark.

Scoured more job postings. Watched TV. Worked on the novel.

Total jobs applied for today: 14

Rejection emails: 1

Total word count: 25,192.

Congratulations, Los Angeles. You've Turned Me Into A Bona Fide Spoiled Brat.

I declare a loathsome affliction towards relentless cloudy days. And rain. And coldness.

Thanks, LA. You'e spoiled me with amazing weather.

Crap.

I hate the idea of getting used to something. The comfort. Amenities. Of course, all of that was completely thrown out the window last year, but now that I've landed stateside, it dawned on me that the most stationary time I've spent in the past ten years was in LA.

Double crap.

What I didn't know when I left LA was how LONG I would miss the weather. And, want it back. And long for it. And salivate for the Mexican food I couldn't have.

Anyway. Back to the latest.

Today?

Woke up late again.

Got one email rejection regarding one job I had applied for.

Scoured the job boards, per the usual rounds.

Applied for 1 job today.

Went to a painful trip to Sam's Club and then regular grocery store for Thanksgiving prep. Sam's club is not fun. What's with all the security checks, anyway?

Feel a massive headache coming on.

Made some oatmeal raisin cookies.

OD'd on said cookies.

Sunday.

No, wait.

Applied to 6 jobs on LinkedIn today.

Signed up on PleasePoach.Me yesterday. Interesting concept.

Then again, what concepts aren't interesting?

5:51 p.m. 22, 383 words to my novel.

7:50 p.m. Getting a bit hungry. Hmm. Not sure if it's late enough such that my house is empty of the folks' houseguests. Now at 22,889 words.

8:00 p.m. 23,031 words. Broke 23,000 words, bitches!!! Wooh!

8:45 p.m. 23, 559 words total. Getting hungry and thirsty. Better head home, I guess.

Total Jobs: 6.

Word Count: 23,879.

Out-of-Towners.

I hate hosting distant relatives from out-of-town. It's always last-minute, and during the weekend when you had plans for wallowing in self-pity - I mean, when you had a lot of writing to get done.

Woke up at 2:00 p.m. today. Arms are sore from yesterday's underarm flab-busting exercises.

5:13 p.m. Sitting at Panera drinking coffee and munching on an oatmeal raisin cookie. Good to get out of the house. Sit in a different, public space away from the parents.

Did not look at a single job description yet today. Yay me.

5:31 p.m. Am at 20,733 words. SO, about 13,000 words behind schedule. And a dozen, since I still haven't taken out the date stamps that are nestles all throughout.

Went to obligated dinner with parents and distant relative and his two friends. They are 19, 20 year-olds. His friends would be lookers in a few years, I gathered.

Getting tired of being surrounded by guys that I have no interest in.

Unless I just turn cougar at some point.

2:00 a.m. 21, 056 words.

Checked application status on one job website. There were also no new postings on it.

Looked up questionable ailments on the web.

3:00 a.m. 22,013 words. Yeah, bitches! MOVING RIGHT ALONG!

Described a scene where one of the characters is shirtless. Realized that there are lots of super attractive young men in my novel. I really need to get some in real life.

I suppose that makes this very much a fantasy world. Like Twilight. Everyone just happens to be ripped. Alright, fantasy world of my novel. I'm game.

Freezing.

Sooo freaking cold today. 44 degrees as a high.

Started scouring job boards again. Head still in a fog from sleep, fighting back a phlegm-y feelig throat this morning.

3:09 p.m. Not feeling fully awake or alert.

For some reason, as I begin to read through job descriptions, a bleak and foul cloud hanging over head. Probably just from my tiredness.

Called Virgin Mobile again since my new phone still isn't activated after 48 hours. They advised me of 24 hours to activate it. And if it doesn't, I'm supposed to call again. Not liking the customer service I'm receiving so far. From India.

Am feeling particularly reluctant today to put on a show, do a little song and dance routine, jump through hoops - I mean, write cover letters that make me stand out from the crowd, and whip up an original writing sample just for the purposes of applying to ONE FREAKING JOB that pays lower than my minimum required salary that apparently has a FEW HUNDRED OTHER APPLICANTS.

Dreaming about lying on a beach in Costa Rica. Or Bali.

Went to the gym after dinner. Kinda nice when it's barren inside. Yet all the treadmills with individual TV screens were all taken. What's up with that?

10:57 p.m. Applied to two jobs tonight.

Today's total: 2 job applications.

Later watched some Hulu. Got back to the novel. Cranked out 1838 words. Yeah, bitches!

"Congratulations, Sir, You're Destroying America."

2 job rejection emails received.

Watched Modern Family on Hulu. Hence the title of today's post.

Got an email yesterday from a job located in nyc. Recruiter indicated that they were only taking local candidates.

Perhaps I could have mentioned that The Roots commuted to nyc every day from Philly.

Went to a dance class last night. First time in over six months. Neck is a bit sore.

3 o'clock. Applied to 5 jobs today.

Obsessively checked application status on other job website.

Went to the gym and pounded on the treadmill for awhile. Took a hot shower. Felt better about life.

10 p.m. Applied to one job that I am overqualified for, anyway.

Put on a pot of decaf. Wrote some jokes.

Checked through some more job postings. Getting bummed out.

Obsessively checked gmail inbox.

A total of 17, 598 words in my novel for NaNoWriMo. However, I added date stamps in there so the real number is a few hairs lower. So, about 33,000 more words to go. And about 12 more days to do it. So, if I crank out about 3,000 words a day, I should have the first draft of a novel.

Go team.

Also, chalked up 4,558 words of notes on jokes. For my yet-to-be-realized career as a stand-up comic. Today's notes came outta nowhere.

Total: 6 job applications for Thursday.

And Today In The World Of The Unemployed.

Applied to four more jobs today.

Emailed one of my credit card companies about crediting my account for the $50 annual fee, inquired about concessions made for cardholders whom are currently unemployed. Requested a credit of the amount, plus canceling the account and refunding me the current credit on my account. Because - ahem, I actually overpaid my last payment and have a credit of over two honeys on my account.

Paid a couple other credit card bills online. Am thinking I really need to cut back on my credit cards. I have 1 Chase visa card (not sure why I have this one), 1 Capital One Card (for the no-foreign-transaction-fees perk), 1 US Airways Mastercard (for the miles), 1 AAdvantage card (for the miles), 2 B of A credit cards (rewards points+no annual fees+lowest APR of any of my cards). Gonna put more of these on the chopping block.

Just like my UnFriending spree.

Almost 5 o'clock. Gonna go brush my teeth and go to the gym.

One more job.

That brings the day's total to: 5 jobs.

Unbelievably warm night.

Strangely warm tonight. Cracked open a window. Didn't bother with the flannel.

Watched Gossip Girl.

Did some Googling for my novel.

Starting to get stuck on my story's aimless and indistinct plot lines. Perhaps writing a novel is more like writing a script than I previously thought.

Saw The Change-Up. Thank goodness I didn't see it with any family members; there are some bona fide raunchy scenes in there. I had a visceral reaction to many of them. Had to have been written and directed by a dude. Am sufficiently grossed out.

Thinking that there needs to be waaaay more women directors out there.

Shaved my legs.

Managed to pen a few hundred more words. Seriously getting stuck.

Feel like I've been watching a LOT of tv lately. One thing that is true of all these cliched romances is that there is a monumental significance in the kiss. If a guy can kiss and knows his way around a liplock, ladies are gonna want him around for awhile. It's always in the kiss.

I seriously need a boyfriend. As a girlfriend, I'd be kind of awesome.

Getting the munchies.

ADD.

Convinced that today's modern video content distributors and quick forms of communication have shot my attention span to hell.

Can't focus for some reason. Always something else I could be doing.

Monday for an Unemployed, Educated, Professional American.

Got one job rejection email today. The "thanks, but no thanks" letters. For most of them, hiring managers don't even send a response at all.

Looked up recipes for scones. Debated whether or not to make them.

Put on a pot of coffee. Made breakfast.

Watched Family Guy.

Looked up work/volunteer abroad programs. Can't believe how many organizations charge a ridiculous fee for 'volunteer' programs.

Felt depressed. I know, because I slept for 9 or 10 hours and I'm not fighting any trace of a cold.

Checked job postings.

Paid credit card bills online.

Applied for a job. Didn't even bother formatting the resume.

Applied to two more jobs. Used one of my generic cover letters. Submitted for a bunch more.

Applied to another job. Had to register and set up a new profile. Hate those things.

Cringing because am hoping to God I don't have to take another Assistant position. Things are looking bleak, though.

Applied to half a dozen more jobs.

Total jobs applied to today: 23.

Almost 5 o'clock. Now to leave the house tonight or not.

Applied to 7 more jobs, which brings today's Total to: 23.

8:10 p.m. One more.

Total: 24 jobs applied to today.

Yesterday's word count.

2,136 words yesterday, bitches! Boo-ya. Bazinga! Whatever.

ALSO, just figured out my main character's last name after penning page 30. Double Bazinga, bitches!

Oacun, I like Saturdays. Usually most offices are closed, including HR offices. Which means next to no new job postings to check. Took the day off from job hunting. Thank God.

Another reason to like Sundays, too. Thank God for a lot of things.

Also.

Feeling the beginnings of a monstrous pimple on my chin. One of those that start growing under your skin and feels sore like a bruise, so you know it's going to be BIG, UGLY, and HURT like a bitch.

10,000 words.

So, 10,000 words behind.

It's after midnight. I feel slightly nauseous because I just OD'd on some brownies. In my defense, it's no day at the beach to constantly struggle against aging and genetics and a slow metabolism in the perpetual Fight Against Fat and Being An American Woman Who Actually Eats.

So I applied to 32 jobs yesterday.

It's true. All 32 of them.

Almost angrily, in an impassioned, taking-vengeance sort of way.

But who thinks of applying to jobs as seeking revenge against the economy?

Saturday.

4:10 p.m. Applied to a total of 8 jobs so far today. Feeling a bit down today.

Going to the gym. Need to fight the fat again. Returning to the novel later today.

Joined an online dating site, nymag.howaboutwe.com. Interesting set-up. Flipped through the date matches. Or the dates proposed by matches. And the general pop. of the members. Things are getting pretty desperate - or modern, however you look at it. I kind of want a boyfriend/man/boy wonder/superhero boytoy/awesome husband to snuggle with already. Fast forward through years into the relationship, like Liz Lemon, and get to the part where you're completely comfortable around each other, and everybody goes to bed without anybody trying any funny business. Except, maybe a little bit of funny business.

Now Sunday. 1:05 a.m. 827 words.

Worked on an old screenplay. Added a few new characters in on scene. Need to stop dicking around and get at least my first completed rough draft done. Story needs more conflicts. Built-up plot in the story line. So far feels like fragmented events that don't really lead to anything.

Need to get my shit together for this national novel writing month project, too. Been procrastinating too much. Time to get down to business tomorrow.

Today's Agenda.

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011.

2:38 p.m. Applied to a job that I'm way under qualified for. Registered on a new website to specifically apply just for that job.

2:45 p.m. Returned to my manuscript for National Novel Writing Month. Am at least 1,000 words behind schedule because of yesterday's procrastination.

2:50 p.m. Forgot to lock my door again. Mom burst into my room. I tell her to get out. She say, "What? I'm not bothering you." Isn't that up to the bothered party to decide? Because bothersome people don't know when they're being bothersome?

2:55 p.m. Watched some clips of late night shows on Hulu.

3:10 p.m. Reading LA Times. Missing LA. Mainly the weather. And running through my route in Griffith Park.

Maybe it's time to go continue my writing at Barnes & Noble. Must go to the gym today, since I didn't go yesterday, and I can feel my thighs growing again. Although my calves are still in pain from Monday and Tuesday's workouts.

3:15 p.m. Flossed and brushed my teeth. Felt sexy fresh and clean after. Not just fresh, sexy fresh. Must do these mid-afternoon floss+brushings more often.

3:27 p.m. Was thinking about how my mother always complains about my sleepwear. I have two pairs of velour lounge pants that I absolutely live in. She nags that I don't have proper pajamas, the matching set kind. I guess partly because they're more feminine? Or ladylike, whatever? Little does she know that I have some pretty racy lingerie buried in my underwear drawer.

Not that I have a boyfriend or husband. I bet every woman has a piece of sexy lace- or silk-something though, regardless of relationship status.

Went to pick up some crafting supplies at Michael's and Jo-ann's.

6:20 p.m. Finally got to Barnes&Noble, found a table, and sat down to write. But there were a million little kids there for some reason so it was a zoo. Hating all little kids right about now. Sooo freakin loud. Determined to choke out my 2,000 words and get the hell out of there. So far am at 201 words for the day. Let's see how much I can get done here. Or at least how long it'll take me.

6:39 p.m. 352 words. Little kids are still making this place a madhouse.

6:53 p.m. 792 words. Screaming kids. Now the adult kids (i.e. adolescent kids + a few of those bellowing types of guys) are filling up the roar of children by trying to yell over them. What is this, a pub ? Is it happy hour at Barnes & Noble? Wow. I really gotta get out of the suburbs. There needs to be more independently owned coffee shops and bookstores around here. Something.

7:02 p.m. 988 words. Am seriously guessing it may be 988 words of jumbled crap. Zoo is still here. Trying to survive at least one hour here of writing before heading to the gym.

7:09 p.m. 1148 words. Can't take much more of this. Getting out of here to get my workout on.

Men With Whom I'd Like To Get Trapped With In An Elevator

There is no romantic interest in my life at the moment. Not that there's been any short of eye- or heart-candy, thanks to modern cinematic viewing formats.

After hearing that people, even celebs, get stuck in elevators, my imagination began to wander.

Men With Whom I'd Like To Get Trapped With In An Elevator (and Go To First Base).

Bradley Cooper

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Leonardo DiCaprio

James McAvoy

Elijah Wood

Ed Westwick

Derek Hough

Justin Timberlake

Zac Efron

John Cho

Diego Luna

Ryan Hansen

When You Start Checking Craigslist For Job Postings

You know the economy has gotten ugly, even for you.

Especially when you have a college degree, additional educational certification, professional and international experience, and a growing portfolio to boot.

Things have gotten slow. Real slow.

I've begun this new blog. I've caught up on every television show I've ever enjoyed, and am completely tapped out - boredom is the next big evil.

Not that there's any shortage of things to do. When you're a writer, there's always something that needs to be done. It's the monotony of my days and the lack of social interaction that's getting to me.

I left my job in Los Angeles last year to pursue an opportunity that excited me. It winded its way around through other areas, and ended up not panning out.

Now I'm back in my parent's house. Pushing 30. Beginning to lose my mind. Now, since the diversity of people I interact are now the fictional characters I write about in my manuscript.

What did I do today?

Checked Hulu. Checked a few job sites. Applied to a couple more jobs. Hemmed a pair of leg warmers. Ordered Victoria's Secret pajamas online. Started checking Craigslist last night for job postings. Just to see what was out there. And then, realized, was probably going to end up applying for some of the jobs posted.

I've been looking for a job for over six months now. Domestically and abroad.

Even with my vast network of contacts, the job leads have been few and far between, if at all.
Number of job interviews I've had? Four and a half. The half was more of a meet-and-greet-pre-job-interview, to see if I was even interested sort of deal.

Decided to sign up for National Novel Writing Month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/dashboard), to get my ass on a focused writing deadline and to help take my mind off the present.

Not sure if I'm depressed so much as starved for inspiration and mental stimulation. I have few friends in the suburbs on the East coast, after college I left for LA, and thus have been pretty much a homebody since then.

Had the flu last week. Am glad I'm not sick this week.

Grabbed the mail. Got the rejection letter from the one job I interviewed for that I was actually remotely interested in.

Am actually considering applying for a part-time job at Anthropologie. For the HOLIDAY SEASON. I don't even like retail. One thing I like about shopping online is that I don't have to deal with people. Crowds. Lines. Parking. Maybe I should write a letter to find out why they misspelled 'anthropology.' It would make for cheaper marketing, at the very least.

It's gonna be okay though, I think. Because I'm a writer. Writers write.

I could seriously use a boy crush, however. At least a man of potential interest. Even low potential interest. Distractions are underrated. Single gentlemen, where are you at?